The Cairo Trilogy

1. Go AUC! Make Us Proud!

Crew season came to a dramatic end, like hitting a brick wall, the first day of Spring Break when the men’s 8 sweep lost to basically every other college in Egypt. Go AUC!

Both days of our Nile Regatta were perfect in the manner of GM Hopkins’ poetry: clear skies, low smog, and a gorgeous 85 with a slight breeze. Being on the water was the perfect icing on the cake – if only parasites a plenty weren’t constantly trying to kill any potential swimmers.

To ensure that we knew we were in Egypt, the races began with fishermen holding the boats steady. At the start of my first, I noticed that the husband of our makeshift anchor was holding our boat with one hand, cigarette in the other while his wife was washing dishes in the Nile.

The race itself was the seven circles of Hell: we had been rowing for about 11 kilometers every day for 2 weeks, but never 2K at full racing speed. We were soaked, exhausted and dead last. Moreover, due to a mishap in steering and skill just as we got to the finish line, an oar made a swift connection with #5 sending him directly to the hospital. Go AUC!

After only a momentary nap in the boathouse mosque (yes, of course we have one) we raced again. We lost: but as a team, we couldn’t have been more pleased with our performance. We nearly placed second before a renegade ski boat crossed into the course and nearly capsized us all – we pulled through but never recovered our speed or direction…..and came in last.

Shout out to the girls 4 Skull – 2^nd place!!!

2. Jacques Cousteau

We saw Jimmy Carter (love that man!), we rowed up and down the Nile, we had Papa John’s Pizza, we watched Pan’s Labyrinth. But we were only one day into a 2 week spring break: What to do?

How about an impromptu trip to the Red Sea and a license in scuba diving? Andy, Jessica, Nate and I decided a week of sea breeze would set us up quite nicely.

Emad, hotelier of Dahab Plaza answered Jessica’s inquiries with “Where are you? Are you in Cairo? I am in Cairo! I’ll drive you to Dahab!”

Finding that he did have room for 4, the next evening we sped down the mountain highways of the desolate Sinai Peninsula at 180KPH and got to the beach in less than 6 hours – our former plans of busing it would have taken at least 10 hours. At one point, Jessica whispered in my ear, “Do you think it’s better to see when you’re going to die, or just be surprised?”

We passed out in the pre dawn darkness and awoke in the most relaxing and beautiful place in Egypt. The tall, barren mountains of Sinai sweep down to a mirror-surfaced sea overflowing with coral reefs. At the moment we couldn’t’ve been farther from Cairo. We got PADI certified over the course of the next few days and spent our evenings lounging on pillows on the beaches, eating luscious dinners and gazing at the full moon as it rose over Saudi Arabia.

Even the hippie animals in Dahab were chilled out, clean, and friendly: there was a German Shepherd that hung out at the beach playing fetch with whomever passed by and one lucky dog surfing in the water.

Scuba diving rocked my world: 7 dives over 5 days. Lionfish, eels, squids, coral snakes, anemones and tons of other sea creatures were all around us. Dude, and I FOUND NEMO!

Next step is advanced certification and exploring shipwrecks in the Red Sea and Cleopatra’s Palace in the Mediterranean.

3. Moses on the Mount

We casually mentioned to our new friend, Emad, that we were interested in climbing Mt. Sinai before traveling back to Cairo. He called a few minutes later to inform us that a car would pick us up the next evening, take us to the monastery for the climb and then on to Cairo.

Emad #2 picked us up around midnight and we began our journey. More terrifying moonlight mountain driving at 180KPH.

Emad #2 ended up being our new best friend. He was supposed to wait in the car with our things overnight while we climbed – but after we found out that he had never climbed and really wanted to go, we insisted this was his opportunity to see where “Musa talked with Allah.”

After more than two hours of pitch black climbing with Bedouins incessantly hawking their camels to us, we made it to the summit, had some coffee, rented some pads and blankets, and tried to get an hour or two of sleep. That was fruitless as Russian carolers kept us up to enjoy the near zero temperatures.

But then the sun started rising above the bleak mountains – it was indescribably beautiful.

Yet we had to go. As exhaustion began to alter our perceptions we climbed down for another 2 hours. We went from being frigid and tired to roasting and tired in less than 15 minutes. The rest of the way was just grueling, and exhilarating.

It’s been an amazing experience: I’ve visited the place where Moses was found in the reeds in Cairo, and now I’ve been to the spot of his revelation from God. At the bottom of the mountain was the 6^th Century monastery of St. Catherine where the burning bush was said to have grown.

When are you guys coming to visit? Seriously!

My Egyptian Friends….and Other Animals*

If the cats in my apartment building are any measure, this city of 20+ million must have at double that amount in stray/wild animals.

There are, of course, the chickens and rabbits in cages by school where you can pick your own and have it slaughtered for you, and the not-so-starving stray cats that are ubiquitous on campus – popping out of garbage cans or descending like a biblical plague when you pull out any larger than a tictac. On the streets it’s not rare to see donkeys, horses, camels and dogs, (especially in heavy traffic) and there’s those early morning ferrets who dart out at my feet as I run to crew.

But a few animals have caught my particular naturalist fancy:

Vera had kittens! Vera is the cat that likes to sneak into my apartment – as she did earlier today when Tony, Nate and I were having lunch – and the same cat fed daily by my neighbors (The Finnish Sara who gave Vera her name: meaning “striped” in Finnish). Two survived and were snuck into Sara and Sammy’s bedroom by Vera when the maid inadvertently left the window open. Of course, the sight of kittens the size of cells phones means that instead of tossing them out the window again you become protective parents and tell all the neighbors to come have a look. Now that the kittens are able to hunt on their own with all the other new borns and we run into them regularly in the stairwells - they don't like being picked up though - and Vera’s back to her old tricks of sneaking into my place any chance she gets. It’s become a not-so-fun game lately.

Henry is some sort of African Hawk: not very large – but neither are the golden falcons that circle the building – he has brilliantly white feathers that come to a few grayish spots on his tale, a white beak and cold red eyes. We were up on the roof to have a study break (to tan and try to hit the Nile with paper airplanes, of course) when we noticed Henry sitting about 5 feet away. We approached: he approached and we spent the next hour with him. As we have the best view on the north end of the island, he used the edge to scout for prey without wasting precious energy. Occasionally he would fly off to get a ferret, a mouse, or a small child, but he’d be back 5 or 10 minutes later. As if I needed yet another reason to go up to the roof instead of doing work! (My tan is coming nicely, btw, thanks.)

Finally, while rowing up and down the Nile I get to see cranes, kingfishers and all sorts of garbage, but the piece de resistance was when we hit a dead cow last week. Sameh, our delightful if inept cocksen steered us right into an iceberg of cow – a cowberg is you will – ricocheting the entire boat with considerable force. Gladly, our Titanic only suffered a loss of synchronization and a few laughs. One more reason that I will NEVER go into the Nile.

*I know it’s ripped from Gerald Durrel’s book – but that means that I can tell you to buy one of my favorite books of all time.

A Lesson in Economics.

The basic concepts of supply and demand: you’ve heard of it, right? Over population in 3^rd World Countries: I know you’ve heard of that. Put them together and what do you get?

Surplus of labor.

(Last time I talked about economic problems in Egypt the ministry of information turned off my phone, but I’m determined!)

This is devastating for many reasons, just ask Karl Marx. He understood the exploitation of the masses: low wages, massive poverty, no investment in technology due to a reliance on labor, etc. Any surplus is wasted, any subsidized product provides only as much value as it’s artificial price.

In Egypt, gasoline is 93 cents a gallon, pita is 27 cents for 6 loaves, government bureaucracy is little more than an unemployment benefit with a desk.

This translates to real world problems like 1000s of cabs with emissions comparable to steel mills, bread wasted feeding the street cats, and the hassle of having to spend 5 hours and about 10 visits to various offices just to get a gym ID for AUC (Seriously: ISSO, Main Gym, Photographer for 6 pictures(!?!), Printer, Nurse, Doctor, Bank – for key deposit – Falaki Gym, Locker Room, Main Gym again….and then I had to wait two days).

But the other thing to which a labor surplus translates:

EVERYONE DELIVERS! It’s the most amazing thing ever. There’s little to no charge (most I’ve seen is 80 cents) and you can get anything that you want in under 30 minutes. McDonalds, Grocery Stores, laundry, anything!

Then there's this: It’s even more amazing.

When it’s 100 degrees outside, like it is right now, the last thing you want to do is turn on the oven. Or walk to the market. Or put on pants and go to a restaurant.

So you go to otlob, pick any restaurant in town, click your choices and it’s at your door in 30 minutes or less.

Last night was pizza then Chinese. Tonight we tried Turkish.

Next time: a new ethnicity of appetizer every hour on the hour.

(Sadly, Starbucks is too far away. It’s only for special occasions like Egyptian Mother’s Day – see photo album)

Pretty Princess Blue Bathroom

I know not everyone would get excited by this, but I think it's the greatest idea since sliced bread - commercial production of which began in 1928 by Chillicothe Baking Company in Missouri - but I love the amazing little gadget in my bathroom. And no, it's not the bidet, I'm still a little weary of that. It's a drain in the floor, coupled with a spray hose and an industrial squeegie.


I don't know how my bathroom got so blue, maybe the owner found a blue sink and thought, "hmm...what if I made EVERYTHING blue?" or maybe he found the light fixture with blue butterflies first and then found matching shower rings. Whatever the case, I love him for putting in the drain: after showering, I power wash the floor, the walls, the toilet, the tub, the window, and then squeegie it down the drain and get dressed.

This is a bathroom that never gets me "blue."

(I apologize for that last line.....just couldn't resist.)

Next time I'm taking the camel....

The evening started off promisingly enough with some fun tanning and throwing paper airplanes off the roof, an afternoon nap in the 90 degree sunshine, Nate making a fantastic dinner of curry cream cheese wontons and masaman chicken – things are good in Cairo on a Friday evening. Tony dropped Salma off, staying long enough to have some jugo de guayaba and a chat on the balcony in the cool nighttime breeze. I taught Salma how to waltz in the foyer. Hussein came and called Drinkie’s for delivery. We played never-have-I-ever. Things were going swimmingly.

The goal of the night was a party in 26th of July (the city not the street – look it up, worldwide repercussions mucho mas b/c of that date) which in my limited experience looks like every other suburban area of Cairo – desert. We parked, the thumping bass audible from half a block away as we approached the house. We took the elevator to the 4^th floor patio over looking the desert. They had a DJ spinning and a bartender serving (hurrah!) the elusive and refreshing imported beer/liquor – nothing Egyptian in sight; a rarity if not a near impossibility it seems.

We were having a great time, dancing, meeting new internationals, but alas: Salma had a non-negotiable curfew of 1am and I had to get up at pre-dawn for crew so we left appropriately early at only 2am. It’s about a 30 minute drive back to Zamalek, double that to get to Salma’s house in Heliopolis and just as we get on the bridge to the island, Hussein’s car get’s a flat tire. Thankfully he knew what to do b/c Nate, Salma and I had no idea what do save call a mechanic. But even with all that knowledge, a guitar was the only thing in the trunk when we opened it up.

It was at this point that we realized an insignificant detail of Salma’s curfew that she had previously not divulged – by 1am, she actually meant that she to turn back into a pumpkin by midnight. I hailed a cab to get her home, Nate was going to walk the last half mile and Hussein was going to expeditiously fix the tire (somehow) and meet me in Heliopolis to drive me back home, inshaallah (I know it translates to“God willing,” but I think that it really means, “God willing, but you and I both know that it’s never going to happen.”).

The cab is just about the most broken down jalopy in which I’ve been taxied, it couldn’t have had more than 30 horsepower left in its museum antique of an engine, but Salma and I puttered along, laughingly or frustratedly, depending on which party one examined in the back seat. About 10 minutes into the journey the cabbie told me in his poor English, “Girlfriend speaks Arabic ‘quiys’ (perfect) for foreigner.” As Salma pleaded “Ana masria! (I’m Egyptian!)” and he mockingly laughed at her attempt to “pretend” to be Egyptian, the tire blew.

The conversation with her dad was not pleasant. Apparently he bought her entire story about the four of us going to a play and having to stay late whilst Salma interviewed the director and playwright for one of her classes, but he felt that she could have come up with a better lie than pretending that we incurred two flat tires on the way home.

Hussein finally picked us up from our derelict rattletrap, but our cabbie couldn’t understand why we only wanted to give him 10 pounds, as foreigners we should give him more, forgetting that now foreigners were in the minority and we didn’t get anywhere close to our destination.

Al7amdullilah. We got home eventually……

Row, row, row your boat

"There was an earth shake in the White Sea!"

That's what a few of us were told by a shop keep as to why there has been no internet in Egypt.....though no one was quite sure what it meant. Possibly an Earthquake in the Red Sea...but by all accounts it was the Mediterranean and now it seems that 2 fiber optic cables have been broken with no real ETA on when they are going to be fixed. Soon Insha Allah! But after all, this is Egypt....luckily I was able to find a decent connection today - and that means it's like 1995 AOL dailup.

I feel like I've been here for months though it's only been a fortnight. School is awesome - tough teachers, small classes, beautiful people. I sometimes feel like I'm back in junior high. Kids come just to hang out on the "Plat" - an elevated patio and steps in the center of the Greek Campus where everyone looks like they're at NY fashion week. It's a strange dichotomy walking in off the street full of trash and poverty, buses and taxis and then seeing the Mercedes', Hummers, BMWs and Porches strategically parked in front of the buildings and their drivers in full Italian labels flaunting themselves inside. Definitely the "cream" of Egypt. But in actuality I've made some very good friends, but mostly internationals as out of place as myself.

I've been exploring: sightseeing and getting involved. This morning I joined crew and ran the 3 miles to the club and back with friend/teammates. 3 days a week at 6am is a little daunting but watching the sunrise over the mist of the Nile was incredible and to know that I get to do it 3 days a week is beyond incredible. I just hope to never fall into the river. That makes me a little nervous of death and disease.

I also took a moonlight horseback trip in the desert the other night. Went with a big group and we circled out into the desert and then came up on a precipice over looking the Pyramids to have a bonfire. That was ridiculous. One the way back we rode through Giza and watched children playing in the street, making fires and racing horses. It was a nice insight into what life is like outside of the downtown and international areas.

This weekend might include a day trip to Alexandria...and clearly lots of studying.....

Go Obama!

The Unexpected Egypt

Every time I walk through the door of the apartment I'm amazed. The place itself is beautiful, but the view 19 floors above the Nile is breathtaking. It's an oasis from the noise and pollution of the streets - streets I'm now getting used to: learning the best cheap falafels, learning the art of dodging traffic as I walk down the middle of them, learning to avoid cats, mud and garbage, and creating my mental map of the city I now call home. The most astounding part of the mountain is daily watching the sunset behind the pyramids at Giza and behind the smog.


Nate, Arthur and I explored the Pyramids a few days ago. We went at sunset when the area was closing and sat atop peaks just taking in the view. Next time we'll go inside, but just being on the sand dunes high above Cairo was breathtaking and something I'll always keep with me.

Cairo is dirtier than I imagined, but it's also more fantastic than I ever could have dreamed. And I love the Egyptians for their love of bad 80s and 90s love ballads. Everything from Phil Collins to Mandy Moore - it never gets old.

School starts in a few days, but every day has been an excitement - even just shopping and cooking is a little bit more exciting in Cairo.

And the cats. EVERYWHERE there are cats. One even snuck into the apartment. Twice. It's pregnant and was trying to find a nice suitcase in which to have it's babies. She's actually not as sick and mangy as most of the cats, but we've learned to keep the screens shut. She watches us eat dinner sometimes....